I Heard Some Gossip About Me & I Wanted To Clear Something Up.

I Heard Some Gossip About Me & I Wanted To Clear Something Up.

Posted · 26 Comments

I overheard some gossip about me 2 days ago that almost broke me and I want to set the record straight.

I spoke 2 days ago at a conference of people numbering nearly 1000.  It was an exceptionally rewarding and humbling experience for me and I felt totally and utterly – home.   I’ve been presenting on stage for years, though never had the immense pleasure of combining my passion for sharing the health and wellness message as far as possible with my corporate background in technology and social media.  BANG – there I was, trying to get my mic adjusted and making a joke about my boobs, as you do.

I got to share my gifts and knowledge with a wider network of people, so that they could then go and improve the health of more individuals at global scale.  What an immense honour.

After my presentation I had a line of people to talk with me and ask questions.  As I said – humbling.  One beautiful woman cried on my shoulder as she said that I had deeply inspired her.  To be able to get this result from doing something that I love left me buzzing, fuzzy, fluffy, light, happy and just all around awed.

That’s when I heard it.

A voice in the background.  It was as if the hubbub and bustle and serious volume of noise around me was all but turned down just for me so that this comment could reach my ears (thanks Mr. Universe).

 “It must be great to be attractive enough to be asked to speak at events like this”

I took a sharp intake of breath and lost my train of thought.

I stuttered in the middle of a sentence and had to re-ask the person I was talking with what the question was,  feeling my heart race, as if my joy had been torn from my full, open and warm heart.   Inside, I fell.  When you go down the greatest fastest hill on a roller-coaster, my whole inside self fell.

All of those happy and light feelings plummeted as I took in the meaning of those words and allowed them to kill the pleasure that I had only 5 seconds ago felt.

I felt absolutely deflated.

It took the greatest of my willpower and conscious thought to ‘talk myself down’ to remember that the way I feel is only a result of how I allow myself to feel. That regardless of what anybody else had to say, that I could choose to feel amazing.

And so I did.

I fell for maybe one minute, I grieved for the joy I had lost and then I course corrected.

Whilst the comment itself became water off a ducks back to me I feel the need to address something of significance about what was said, for I feel that it says worlds about the person who spoke it and very little about me.

I have seen a lot of success in my business and personal life.  I deserve success because I have a love for what I do, I am passionate  and honest and I work exceptionally hard for it.  If you were to see me putting in the hours, the love and the care for my business and ultimately – for you – then this would be clear.

Sometimes I share valuable information for free and of course sometimes I monetise my offerings because I need to, such as with The Life Transformation Project, because it allows me to keep going with this business, pay my bills, buy my raw chocolate.

And know this about me.

I will not be bowed by fear.

I ask for the things I want – every single day.

The speaking engagement I had was something I put my hand up for.  I sent 3 emails across the world and asked if I could offer any value to the day.  I asked if I could present.  I listed my strengths and areas of expertise, paid my own airfare and accommodation for 2 days and jumped up on stage.  I chose to be there.

We live in a wide world with multiple cultures and ideas, where physical appearance is subjective to the beholder.  While some people may find me attractive, others may not.  Who am I to care about who this is or isn’t when what I have to offer at a deeper level is so much more valuable. I’ve been a business woman for over a decade and I’ve worked my butt off to earn the successes that I’ve had.

What I achieve only has everything to do with the energy I put out into the world.  It is the law of attraction, which I wrote about here. 

What may seem like the creation of ‘luck’ on the surface is rarely so, and all of the successful and happy people I know are paddling like crazy underwater to get out of life what they want to and live their dreams.  Just because we are destined for something, doesn’t mean we don’t also have to hustle like hell to get there.  But boy do we love the hustle.

The person who spoke the comment that has sparked this post probably thought nothing of it when it was coming out of their mouth, though perhaps it stems from fear of their own divine and infinite power and abilities.  This person may not be in the right place to see that and that’s 105% cool with me.  They may in the future or may not, it’s their journey, not mine.

I am not upset by this comment, nor the person who spoke it and as I know how quick to anger or defend we sometimes get I would allow you to consider that this comment has taught me more by it being said than if it hadn’t.  So I am totally cool.  Cool?

Whilst on my flight home,  I started reading Richard Branson’s book ‘Like A Virgin.  Success Secrets They Won’t Teach You At Harvard Business School’ and a paragraph stood out like a sore thumb, a sure sign of synchronicity at my thinking of this post and whether or not to share it with you.  He writes –

“My mother also told me not to openly criticise other people.  If she heard me speaking ill of other people, she would make me stand in front of the mirror for five minutes and stare at myself.  Her reasoning?  All my critical talk was a poor reflection on my own character”.

Now I’m not claiming to be above this type of criticism myself, so don’t get me wrong.  I’m well aware and working on the idea that if you point the finger, you have three pointing straight back at you.  So I am not here to cast the stone.

I simply want to call this out.  It was a great lesson for me, to practice my conscious thought, to be mindful over my (bully) ego.  It may well be a lesson to the person who made the comment or perhaps it changes the way you approach a moment in today or in your coming days.

What I sure as hell hope it does do,  is remind you that your dreams are there for the taking and that the only obstacle in your way is yourself.

Get uncomfortable.  Delete ‘failure’ from your vocabulary.

If you want something bad enough then just get out there and ask for it.

What are your big scary dreams?  Let me know in the comments below, you may just release the fear surrounding them in doing so.

Love always,

Al. XX

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I Heard Some Gossip About Me & I Wanted To Clear Something Up. was last modified: December 29th, 2014 by Alice Nicholls
  • Israel Smith

    Wow. What a post.

    Thanks for a few things:

    1) The initiative it took to put your hand up to present on Sunday. Quite apart from all the amazing things my wife and I learned on the day from your talk, I think there’s a strong lesson in your “How can I be of value?” emails.

    2) The honesty of sharing the feelings you felt after hearing *that* comment.

    3) The lesson about how you stopped the down feelings and got back up again.

    Really well done, Alice. Big high-fives to you. 🙂

    Israel.

  • Alice – I was one of the thousand on Sunday, (but I wasn’t THAT one).

    As a result of hearing you speak, I am endeavouring to ‘move fast, break things’. I’m playing with banishing negative self-talk (my speciality!). I am here, signed up & reading your blog. You were such an inspiration to me; your confidence and energy and ‘just do it’ attitude.

    If you only knew the number of our Feb 14 intake who have started fan pages and blogs as a result of your presentation… Thank you!

    PS – I even spent five bloody minutes trying to update my pic on disqus so that you could see the ‘real’ me (technology is not my friend today!)

  • You mean you’re not a tree-hugger covered in fur? ;). I am blown away by your feedback and your comment and I want to send you heaps of love and a big thank-you. It’s no surprise that I chose to surround myself with amazing people in this industry. I can’t wait to track all the successes, whatever they may be, of all of you. XX

  • Israel,
    Your comment is so appreciated. You know, I get the feeling *that* comment 😉 will teach me more from hearing it than had I not. And I am not upset at the person who spoke it or the comment itself. I only hope that things like this inspire people to get outside their comfort zone and make stuff happen.

    It sounds to me like yourself and your beautiful wife are doing exactly that.

    Alice.

  • Violet Magazine

    Gosh Alice, I am astounded that someone could be so rude. My thinking is totally inline with yours. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it is only skin deep. How disappointing someone would be that superficial. On the upside, (there’s always an upside) there were so many people that your gifts touched. Huge congratulations to you! 🙂 Great post.

  • Andrea Alf

    Thank you so much Alice for this inspiring post and your amazing talk on Sunday! Congratulations it is awesome! Yes, I will delete “failure” from my vocabulary – this is huge! Much love Andrea xx

  • Hi there you awesome mag you! ;). I am OK with it. I think sometimes words come out before we realise what they mean or could mean about us. I have been guilty of judgement in the past and will probably be so I the future. Perhaps this was a lesson for my own future treatment of others. I see it as growth regardless. Thanks for your comment. It was an amazing day. I LOVED it. X

  • Thanks so much Andrea. I appreciate your comment and I say WOOOHOO for you going all kick-arse on the word ‘failure’. That word ain’t got nothing on you!
    Much love straight back to you. X

  • Joanne Musgrave

    What a lovely post. And what an awful thing for a ‘health coach’ / ‘health coach in training’ to say at an event like this. You’re right. It speaks volumes about her and nothing about you. I am only sorry that I wasn’t there in the afternoon to hear you speak. I have thought for some time now that out of everyone from our class, you’re probably going to end up the ‘shining light’ in the coaching world. You work hard for it and it’s well deserved. And it’s certainly not because you’re the prettiest one (whether you are or not, ’cause let’s face it, you’re pretty, and that’s ok).

    But, the thing is, you’re pretty & beautiful because of that smile of yours and the sparkly eyes. They’re genuine & inviting and trusting and warm. When you speak, you do so with a clear message and clarity. You come across as honest & caring and are not afraid to share yourself in the service of helping others. THIS is what makes you attractive, inside and out.

    I am so glad you shook it off quickly. It will be a life lesson that will stay with you. I’ve had someone do something similar to me once, really shook me to the core and I vowed never again to care what strangers say about me, and I don’t.

    Keep up the work. You’re one to watch out for Alice.

  • Hi Alice, I just wanted to say that I was one of the people in the room on Sunday and found your presentation to be informative and inspiring – you seemed to be in your element talking up on that stage and oozed confidence and self-assurance. All of the other attendees I spoke with said similar things, and its unfortunate that in being praised on your talk you also had to endure overhearing that comment. As you say, it says more about that person than it does about you, and as This Sydney Life commented below many of the students found your talk incredibly useful and inspiring and have started to use some of the skills and techniques you outlined to start or fine tune their social media pages and blogs (I am one of them). Thank you so much for talking, and so happy to have found your blog and all of its useful content as well 🙂

  • Leanne Faulkner

    This is a beautiful post Alice. You have taken a challenging moment and used it as a means to explain yourself in a very open and loving way. This experience has now been able to help others and this level of thinking is not very common, unfortunately. Well done.

  • Pingback: Self-love: 5 reasons why we need it every day. | LEANNE FAULKNER()

  • Emily Ehlers // Holistic Lifes

    I just about chest bumped my computer screen off my desk!

    I think it is one of the massive misunderstandings and assumptions that because you love your job it is not hard work. What is even sadder is that this woman considers your beautiful outer shell more important than your beautiful inner goods! I have heard SO many good things about your talk via social media, so rest easy in the knowledge that everyone else really SAW you.

    So much love as always xxx

  • Hey darling girl. Firstly I want to say I thought of you and your amazing blog post when I tried to jam my Mum truck between an arse-about parked car and the curb today. Second – I am all over the lessons of this day and this particular moment of it. I couldn’t help but have that ‘downer’ moment, though I hope more than anything that not only I, but others grow from it too.

    I was only just now talking to my man Cam about how many ‘free’ hours vs paid ones I have put in since starting this baby 9 months ago. Literally hundreds.

    And just for a fun second to think about the physical side of this – I am not a beautiful giraffe and Burberry ain’t ever going to have me in a full page spread – but do we think for even one second that Miranda Kerr doesn’t work her arse off every single day.

    There is not many jobs in the world where you can be an instant success, make shitloads of money and have things handed to you on a silver plate. So I say “all the power to anyone who simply get’s shit done”, and I’ll be there with a hot towel and a hug when they need a rubdown (and by ‘they’ I specifically mean Ryan Gosling). Annnnnd now I’ve forgotten what I was talking about….

  • Leanne, thank-you. From the bottom of my heart. Life is sometimes painful but growth is included in that. My 7 month old is getting a whole mouth of brand new shiny chompers and she is kindly reminding me of that right about…now. X

    I hope we can give everyone time to learn.

    Much appreciated. X

  • Hi gorgeous. WOW. Thanks so much.
    Your words really mean a lot to me and I am so humbled to simply be a part of such a gorgeous group of people. We are all so lucky huh, to be able to share in this way. I look forward to following your progress and meeting you again. X

  • Joanne, your kindness this week is something I am very grateful for, and I’m not just talking about chocolate…;) Though THAT saved.my.life on Sunday!

    I look forward to seeing us ALL bust out big fat awesome amazesome stuff this year. I hope to spend more time with you throughout the year.
    XX

  • Joanne Musgrave

    Shucks 🙂 You’re welcome. Big fat awesomeness ….. I’m going to have to re-use that phrase at some stage!!

  • Rhiannon

    Extremely well said.. As always Alice. It leaves food for thought x

  • clareandthecode

    You were simply amazing and that is all. Regardless of your beauty, snappy dressing and your quick straight shooting humour. They were just a bonus. You have motivated me to move forward and just get myself out there. Continue being you, pretty and all 🙂

  • Sarah-Jane Perman

    GO SISTA…. Everything comes to those who hustle… and hustle we must to create our dreams! I think you’re a rockstar in any case xx

  • Angela

    Beautiful story! You rock!

  • Emma Newman

    I couldn’t pry my eyes off this! The further I got in to it the more I started to self reflect and look back on recent times when I have spoken negatively of someone based on their appearance or personality. Everyday I am making it my goal to become more conscious of the way I act and the words I speak to others and myself.
    I have only recently come across your blog and am already hooked! Signing up for the transformation project! : )
    Thank you for being amazing.

  • What a beautiful comment. Thanks so much for your awesome feedback and I cannot WAIT to have you in my virtual world. Big hugs to you. XX

  • This is a great way to approach a negative comment, thanks for sharing! Sometimes it’s easy to look at the lives of others and think that they have it so good, but without seeing the rest of the stuff that goes on in the background!

    A great reminder of how to handle negativity and also when we feel like we might be comparing, that there is probably a bigger picture that we’re not aware of.

  • Thanks Katharine. This approach is helping me to live a much more peaceful life. One where I am much calmer and more fulfilled. I think it’s called ‘not sweating the small stuff’. My compassion for others is also growing a great deal. Appreciate your comment.

 
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