I overheard some gossip about me 2 days ago that almost broke me and I want to set the record straight.
I spoke 2 days ago at a conference of people numbering nearly 1000. It was an exceptionally rewarding and humbling experience for me and I felt totally and utterly – home. I’ve been presenting on stage for years, though never had the immense pleasure of combining my passion for sharing the health and wellness message as far as possible with my corporate background in technology and social media. BANG – there I was, trying to get my mic adjusted and making a joke about my boobs, as you do.
I got to share my gifts and knowledge with a wider network of people, so that they could then go and improve the health of more individuals at global scale. What an immense honour.
After my presentation I had a line of people to talk with me and ask questions. As I said – humbling. One beautiful woman cried on my shoulder as she said that I had deeply inspired her. To be able to get this result from doing something that I love left me buzzing, fuzzy, fluffy, light, happy and just all around awed.
That’s when I heard it.
A voice in the background. It was as if the hubbub and bustle and serious volume of noise around me was all but turned down just for me so that this comment could reach my ears (thanks Mr. Universe).
“It must be great to be attractive enough to be asked to speak at events like this”
I took a sharp intake of breath and lost my train of thought.
I stuttered in the middle of a sentence and had to re-ask the person I was talking with what the question was, feeling my heart race, as if my joy had been torn from my full, open and warm heart. Inside, I fell. When you go down the greatest fastest hill on a roller-coaster, my whole inside self fell.
All of those happy and light feelings plummeted as I took in the meaning of those words and allowed them to kill the pleasure that I had only 5 seconds ago felt.
I felt absolutely deflated.
It took the greatest of my willpower and conscious thought to ‘talk myself down’ to remember that the way I feel is only a result of how I allow myself to feel. That regardless of what anybody else had to say, that I could choose to feel amazing.
And so I did.
I fell for maybe one minute, I grieved for the joy I had lost and then I course corrected.
Whilst the comment itself became water off a ducks back to me I feel the need to address something of significance about what was said, for I feel that it says worlds about the person who spoke it and very little about me.
I have seen a lot of success in my business and personal life. I deserve success because I have a love for what I do, I am passionate and honest and I work exceptionally hard for it. If you were to see me putting in the hours, the love and the care for my business and ultimately – for you – then this would be clear.
Sometimes I share valuable information for free and of course sometimes I monetise my offerings because I need to, such as with The Life Transformation Project, because it allows me to keep going with this business, pay my bills, buy my raw chocolate.
And know this about me.
I will not be bowed by fear.
I ask for the things I want – every single day.
The speaking engagement I had was something I put my hand up for. I sent 3 emails across the world and asked if I could offer any value to the day. I asked if I could present. I listed my strengths and areas of expertise, paid my own airfare and accommodation for 2 days and jumped up on stage. I chose to be there.
We live in a wide world with multiple cultures and ideas, where physical appearance is subjective to the beholder. While some people may find me attractive, others may not. Who am I to care about who this is or isn’t when what I have to offer at a deeper level is so much more valuable. I’ve been a business woman for over a decade and I’ve worked my butt off to earn the successes that I’ve had.
What I achieve only has everything to do with the energy I put out into the world. It is the law of attraction, which I wrote about here.
What may seem like the creation of ‘luck’ on the surface is rarely so, and all of the successful and happy people I know are paddling like crazy underwater to get out of life what they want to and live their dreams. Just because we are destined for something, doesn’t mean we don’t also have to hustle like hell to get there. But boy do we love the hustle.
The person who spoke the comment that has sparked this post probably thought nothing of it when it was coming out of their mouth, though perhaps it stems from fear of their own divine and infinite power and abilities. This person may not be in the right place to see that and that’s 105% cool with me. They may in the future or may not, it’s their journey, not mine.
I am not upset by this comment, nor the person who spoke it and as I know how quick to anger or defend we sometimes get I would allow you to consider that this comment has taught me more by it being said than if it hadn’t. So I am totally cool. Cool?
Whilst on my flight home, I started reading Richard Branson’s book ‘Like A Virgin. Success Secrets They Won’t Teach You At Harvard Business School’ and a paragraph stood out like a sore thumb, a sure sign of synchronicity at my thinking of this post and whether or not to share it with you. He writes –
“My mother also told me not to openly criticise other people. If she heard me speaking ill of other people, she would make me stand in front of the mirror for five minutes and stare at myself. Her reasoning? All my critical talk was a poor reflection on my own character”.
Now I’m not claiming to be above this type of criticism myself, so don’t get me wrong. I’m well aware and working on the idea that if you point the finger, you have three pointing straight back at you. So I am not here to cast the stone.
I simply want to call this out. It was a great lesson for me, to practice my conscious thought, to be mindful over my (bully) ego. It may well be a lesson to the person who made the comment or perhaps it changes the way you approach a moment in today or in your coming days.
What I sure as hell hope it does do, is remind you that your dreams are there for the taking and that the only obstacle in your way is yourself.
Get uncomfortable. Delete ‘failure’ from your vocabulary.
If you want something bad enough then just get out there and ask for it.
What are your big scary dreams? Let me know in the comments below, you may just release the fear surrounding them in doing so.