I had a number of people in the last 2 days email me with really similar questions and they go along the lines of this;
“Alice I’m not feeling ‘it’ today. To be honest, I feel downright shitty. How do I bring myself out of this?”
“I feel like I’m getting behind, there are people in my life treating me poorly and nothing is going the way I wanted it to this week. What would you recommend I do?”
“I know I shouldn’t let things get me down and I know I should be thinking positive thoughts right now but I just don’t feel like it. Help!”
In each email there was a big ‘BUT’.
I’m the first person to say that happiness is a choice and that what you think becomes you. The thoughts you have become you and then what becomes you attracts other people of the same ilk. So for this reason you need to be conscious of how controlling you allow negative thought to be. However…
If you’re seriously just havin’ one o’ those days…(or weeks), you’ve been pushing the ‘positivity’ button and you’ve been practicing conscious thought but you’re still just stuck in quicksand, then you know what?
Don’t fight it. Embrace it. Allow that feeling of ‘bleyuck’ sweep over you.
If you’re going to though, do so mindfully.
Pay deep attention to the feeling that you have. Stop and listen to it. Befriend it and let it be. These dark emotions are profound but needed spiritual teachers. If you create an awareness of the feeling – without choosing to deliberately dwell in the negative feeling – then you can allow it to flow from you, but only after you ask yourself what the lesson is you need to learn. There’s no point whatsoever in dwelling in this type of mindset unless you allow it to teach you. You have to be willing to surrender yourself to asking ‘why?’.
I want you to ask yourself if there are areas in your life where you can create ease? I love doing this. And isn’t the word ‘ease’ just so beautiful? It gets me every time it rolls of my tongue.
Can you cancel something? Say no to someone? Close the door and lock it?Sit on a thick blanket on the back or front stoop, verandah, porch, garden or yard and just lose yourself in ‘no plans’?
Can you do this for an hour or for 10 minutes or even for 60 seconds?
My Mum could give you a lesson in this after the last week. She got quite sick and as she coughed into the phone she told me all of these things she had to accomplish.
A list as long as my love affair with self-saucing chocolate pudding. Just ‘Stuff’ – you know – Stuff with a capital ‘S’.
We all got Stuff right? I asked her if she had to do them all and she said quickly “Yes. Everything. Everything.”
I paused and asked her again slowly –“You have to do every single one of those chores on your list? What happens if you don’t?”
Nothing. My mother – bless her cotton socks – did not have to do one thing on her list. Mum could actually lay in bed and read for four days if she wanted and allow herself to heal.
So how about you?
Can you take yourself off the grid? If you answered ‘No’ can you ask yourself again for the real answer?
The REAL answer.
Where in your life can you create ease, flow and lightness?
Can take yourself off the grid and go outside in the wind on the beach, in a wet muddy paddock, in your own bath, shower or bed? If you have little ones at home, can you call someone to come and give you one hour, two hours, three hours and go somewhere quiet? Eat with a knife and fork and read a paper.
When you feel like you just can’t do it anymore – don’t.
Lay down on the floor and just hang there for a bit. Find that sweet surrender spot. I’ve done this many times. Life can literally bring you to your knees, I know.
Feel it deeply, create awareness around the ‘why’, create ease and then surrender.