This topic is one that comes up a lot in my coaching and that I see a lot in life in general.
The expectation that people have for others to ‘make them happy’.
One of my besties has a mother-in-law who is very protective of her oldest son, who is in his mid-thirties.
My bestie was making lunch on the weekend and ‘mother-in-law’ turned and said to her
“If you make my son happy, you make me happy”
I’m open enough to understand that what has been said has come from a place of ‘meaning the right thing’, however it is so far removed from the way we need to look at relationships and life in general and takes from us – and her son – the sole and individual right, ability and infinite power that we have to be the masters of our own destiny. To travel through life with the reigns in our own hands.
We need to be the masters and commanders of our own life and shine our crazy, bright, messy, beautiful and happy light whenever it feels right.
For ‘mother-in-law’ is placing her happiness not just in one persons hands, but in two. My friend to make her son happy, and then the son to make her happy. Eeeeek. What would be much more beneficial in this situation would be for mother-in-law to reach to her son and share with him the knowledge that he is an amazing person who can create and shape his magical existence in whatever way he would like to.
He has to do one thing and one thing only.
Choose to be happy.
For where there is expectation there is disappointment.
If we live our lives creating an expectation on what others should do and generate our feelings and happiness level based on this we miss out because it’s simply impossible for others to live up to these expectations 100% of the time.
We set ourselves up for disappointment. We invite feelings of ‘less’ into our lives – and then typically try to guilt the other person into believing it is their ‘fault. How unfair to us all.
If we focus on creating our own happiness in life, and work on this every year, week, day, moment – and release others from the expectations that we place on them to ‘make us happy’ then we are actually creating freedom, light and infinite possibility into our own world and theirs.
We are the masters of our destiny and the only person who should be answerable to our happiness is ourselves.
How happy are you right now?